The AI Sniff-Test That Told Me Why My Page Was Stuck
The exact 10-minute check-up you can run on your own account — no feelings spared 🐾
Hello. It’s us — Nicole and Nora. We are two miniature dachshunds and, as of today, the editors-in-chief of this newsletter. Our humans handle the typing (they have the thumbs); we handle the opinions (we have… a lot).
Last week we made our humans sit down and ask a clever little AI to be honest about our Instagram — why it had been napping at the same follower count for ages. We expected applause. We are, after all, deeply photogenic. Instead, it gave us the truth.
The very first thing it said:
“The photos are adorable, but the grid gives a stranger no real reason to follow. Cute is everywhere. Give people something only this account offers.”
Nora did the long sigh she usually saves for an empty treat jar. Because it was right. Our humans had been posting our zoomies and our little outfits with no reason for a new person to stick around — and a robot with no nose sniffed it out in about four minutes. Humbling, frankly.
Why you can’t smell your own grid
Here’s the thing: you’re too close to your own account to catch what’s off. When a human has stared at their own bio for eight months, their brain just fills in the meaning. A first-time visitor? A little confused — and confusion doesn’t earn a follow (or a treat).
What helps is a second set of eyes. Ideally eyes with no feelings to spare — that won’t tell you “it’s perfect 🩷” when it’s actually a little muddled. (We tried being those eyes for our humans, but we kept getting distracted by the mail carrier.)
What this Cowork thing is (in dog terms)
Our humans use a tool called Cowork — an AI that can actually *do* things on the computer: look at the screen, visit websites, and make real files, all while everyone else goes about their day. Think of it as a freakishly efficient intern who never once begs for our treats.
For this check-up, we let it look at our actual live Instagram so it could read the bio, scroll the grid, and tell us the truth in real time. (Not sponsored. Our humans just genuinely use it. We mostly supervise from the blanket.)
What your human will have 10 minutes from now
Picture it: your human opens Cowork, asks it to give the account an honest sniff test, and walks away to do something with their thumbs. They come back to a full write-up — not generic “post more Reels” advice, but a real breakdown of:
what the bio is accidentally telling people they do
why the grid makes visitors tap away instead of follow
the exact hook patterns quietly losing reach
what’s being posted too much of — and what to post instead
the top 5 fixes to start this week
Then — because this is a little business, not just a photo album — they ask it to fix what it found: rewrite the bio, hand over 10 post ideas for the gaps, write 5 hook options, build a 2-week calendar. All in one sitting. The plan most humans want is about $20/month (Claude Pro) — which, in treat math, is roughly one very good bag.
🐾 Helping animals is the whole reason we're here. If you'd like to help too, you can chip in to our shelter fundraiser for Animal Haven — every little bit helps an animal in need. Join us. 🩷
So that’s the sniff test — and the uncomfortable thing it told me. The free half shows you that your page has a blind spot. The paid half is where I hand you the exact way to find yours and fix it, this week. 🔒
Inside the paid half, you’ll get:
The exact AI “sniff test” prompt I paste in — copy it and run a full audit of your own page in about 10 minutes
The 5 things the AI scores you on — including the one that was quietly strangling my growth for months
My before → after fix list, in the order I’d do them, so you’re not guessing what to change first
The one post type the audit told me to stop making (I was posting it every single week)
A fill-in scorecard so you can re-run this every month and actually watch the number move
The $29 Petfluencer Playbook for just $20 — subscribers only
Plus every paid post + the full archive
Come join me on the inside 👇
